1 00:00:02,167 --> 00:00:06,037 (tubi jingle) 2 00:00:07,205 --> 00:00:09,307 (thumping against glass) - Previously on: The Z-Suite. 3 00:00:09,374 --> 00:00:10,408 - Hello? 4 00:00:10,475 --> 00:00:13,545 - Z Suite is out. Gen Z... is in. 5 00:00:13,612 --> 00:00:15,547 - They made it very clear that we were fired. 6 00:00:15,614 --> 00:00:17,248 - I found that meeting to be pretty ambiguous. 7 00:00:17,315 --> 00:00:19,184 - Security took out fingerprints before we left. 8 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,654 - God, I cannot believe how much trained for this space! 9 00:00:22,721 --> 00:00:24,623 - There's a ball pit! (excited scream) 10 00:00:24,689 --> 00:00:26,324 - What is that? - A llama. 11 00:00:26,391 --> 00:00:27,959 - Oh, no. - You know what? 12 00:00:28,026 --> 00:00:29,828 You're alright. (singing) 13 00:00:29,894 --> 00:00:34,366 - Yo! Welcome to the silent disco. 14 00:00:34,432 --> 00:00:35,634 (rhythmic music) 15 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,470 - I come by the office to beef up security 16 00:00:38,536 --> 00:00:40,672 because my former CEO is acting nuts. 17 00:00:40,739 --> 00:00:41,706 And what do I find? 18 00:00:41,773 --> 00:00:44,409 My current CEO acting nuts. 19 00:00:44,476 --> 00:00:45,644 - I know how this looks, 20 00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,379 but we actually had a very productive day. 21 00:00:47,445 --> 00:00:50,515 (yelling and laughing) 22 00:00:50,582 --> 00:00:53,084 - Oliver. 23 00:00:53,151 --> 00:00:54,853 - Who is that? - Minnesota Matt. 24 00:00:54,919 --> 00:00:56,021 - Does he even work here? 25 00:00:56,087 --> 00:00:57,922 - No... yeah. 26 00:00:57,989 --> 00:01:00,325 - Did I make a mistake in promoting you, Krispie? 27 00:01:00,392 --> 00:01:01,693 - No, no, sir, you did not. 28 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,528 - Well then, you and Thing One 29 00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:06,898 and Thing Two better start acting like Z Suite executives. 30 00:01:06,965 --> 00:01:09,668 We can't afford another scandal in this agency. 31 00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:10,935 Next time I drop by this office, 32 00:01:11,002 --> 00:01:13,838 I'd better not find another bacchanal. 33 00:01:15,774 --> 00:01:16,775 Wild sex party! 34 00:01:16,841 --> 00:01:19,577 (rhythmic music) 35 00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:20,745 - Oliver. - No. 36 00:01:20,812 --> 00:01:22,247 (weak sigh) 37 00:01:30,155 --> 00:01:33,625 (♪ I Ran (So Far Away) by Flock Of Seagulls) 38 00:01:33,692 --> 00:01:36,428 (vacuum whirring) 39 00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:44,335 - Monica? 40 00:01:44,402 --> 00:01:45,970 - Doug! 41 00:01:46,037 --> 00:01:47,706 - You're cleaning your own place. 42 00:01:47,772 --> 00:01:50,175 - Uh-huh. - Oh, God. This can't be good. 43 00:01:50,241 --> 00:01:53,945 I see that you bought some snacks... in bulk. 44 00:01:54,012 --> 00:01:55,046 - Grab a cheese puff! 45 00:01:55,113 --> 00:01:56,081 - I think you're still going 46 00:01:56,147 --> 00:01:57,382 through the stages of grief. 47 00:01:57,449 --> 00:01:58,550 - What? 48 00:01:58,616 --> 00:01:59,684 (loudly): The stages of grief! 49 00:01:59,751 --> 00:02:01,953 Like this is... depression? 50 00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:04,789 - Oh, no, no, no, Doug. I am fine. 51 00:02:04,856 --> 00:02:07,592 See, I needed something to do 52 00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:08,793 now that I've stopped working, 53 00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:10,528 so I fired the housekeeper 54 00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:11,730 and I've taken up cleaning. 55 00:02:11,796 --> 00:02:13,698 And, oh, as a side benefit, 56 00:02:13,765 --> 00:02:15,767 I rediscovered new wave music. 57 00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:18,570 (laughing) 58 00:02:18,636 --> 00:02:21,106 - Okay... 59 00:02:23,608 --> 00:02:25,944 Veronica Rubbensval's bat mitzvah? 60 00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:27,145 We're not attending, are we? 61 00:02:27,212 --> 00:02:29,547 (huffing): Since her dad refused 62 00:02:29,614 --> 00:02:33,885 to take my calls when I went grovelling to him for work... 63 00:02:33,952 --> 00:02:35,587 Yes. We are going. 64 00:02:35,653 --> 00:02:36,888 I'll confront him in person. 65 00:02:36,955 --> 00:02:39,691 Plus, you know, it's better not to drink alone. 66 00:02:39,758 --> 00:02:40,925 - I don't think that's a good idea. 67 00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:42,627 - Oh, no. I'm fine! - Oh, Jesus. 68 00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:43,795 It's 9 AM. 69 00:02:43,862 --> 00:02:46,431 (music stops) Monica. 70 00:02:46,498 --> 00:02:49,434 You're wearing sweats... 71 00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:50,335 ...with... 72 00:02:50,401 --> 00:02:51,803 ...a drawstring. 73 00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,772 - Oh... God. 74 00:02:53,838 --> 00:02:55,707 (sighing) 75 00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:57,609 You're right. 76 00:02:57,675 --> 00:02:59,310 It's over. 77 00:02:59,377 --> 00:03:01,045 Work was my life. 78 00:03:01,112 --> 00:03:02,614 When they took that away... 79 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,882 ...it killed me. 80 00:03:03,948 --> 00:03:06,618 - Aww, sweetie. 81 00:03:06,684 --> 00:03:09,087 Please, don't drink that. 82 00:03:09,154 --> 00:03:11,523 Oh, she's drinking it. Okay... 83 00:03:11,589 --> 00:03:14,359 (rhythmic music) 84 00:03:14,425 --> 00:03:16,661 - Oliver is like, really mad about the silent disco 85 00:03:16,728 --> 00:03:18,530 and I don't know, it's just got me shook. 86 00:03:18,596 --> 00:03:21,032 (huffing loudly) 87 00:03:21,099 --> 00:03:22,500 Do I know what I'm doing? 88 00:03:22,567 --> 00:03:23,935 - No. 89 00:03:24,002 --> 00:03:25,537 What? You don't. 90 00:03:25,603 --> 00:03:27,272 But literally nobody does 91 00:03:27,338 --> 00:03:30,275 unless they're like a pediatric cardiologist. 92 00:03:30,341 --> 00:03:32,744 Everyone is faking it until they make it. 93 00:03:32,811 --> 00:03:35,413 - To quote the late, great Kiki Palmer-- 94 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,949 - No, no, babe. She's... she's still with us. 95 00:03:38,016 --> 00:03:39,450 - Oh. Damn. - Mm-hmm. 96 00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:42,921 - Alright. To quote the currently alive Kiki Palmer: 97 00:03:42,987 --> 00:03:44,656 "I don't know this man. 98 00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:46,491 He could be walking down the street 99 00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:48,293 and I wouldn't know a thing. 100 00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:49,360 Sorry to this man." 101 00:03:49,427 --> 00:03:51,296 Where's the Kriska I always looked up to? 102 00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:53,198 The one, who at freshman orientation ice cream social 103 00:03:53,264 --> 00:03:55,333 got everyone chatting and feeling connected. 104 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,002 Even the ones with IBS who couldn't eat dairy. 105 00:03:58,069 --> 00:03:59,370 - Yes. - You were born for this. 106 00:03:59,437 --> 00:04:01,739 - I know that's right. - This is what you do. 107 00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:04,142 - Thanks, guys, I got this. 108 00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:06,578 (thumping loudly) - What's this? 109 00:04:06,644 --> 00:04:10,048 - The daily binder. It's Monica's schedule for the day. 110 00:04:10,114 --> 00:04:11,482 - But... but this is insane. 111 00:04:11,549 --> 00:04:15,653 This is like five Cheesecake Factory menus. Annabelle! 112 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,522 You know what? You know, it's fine. 113 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:19,457 I'm gonna spend today plowing through this. 114 00:04:19,524 --> 00:04:23,995 Elliot, I am placing you in charge of the budget, AKA CFO. 115 00:04:24,062 --> 00:04:25,496 - Which stands for...? 116 00:04:25,563 --> 00:04:26,531 - Chief Financial Officer. 117 00:04:26,598 --> 00:04:28,166 - I don't like chief. 118 00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:30,034 It's giving appropriation. 119 00:04:30,101 --> 00:04:32,670 How about Cute Financial Officer? 120 00:04:32,737 --> 00:04:33,605 - Great, love it! 121 00:04:33,671 --> 00:04:34,639 And Clem, you are in charge 122 00:04:34,706 --> 00:04:37,075 of overseeing departments, AKA COO. 123 00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:39,143 - Charismatic Operations Officer. - Oh. 124 00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:41,479 - It makes sense I'd be in charge of rizz. 125 00:04:41,546 --> 00:04:42,847 - Oh. 126 00:04:42,914 --> 00:04:44,048 - Fake it till we make it. 127 00:04:44,115 --> 00:04:46,718 We've got this, guys, it's gonna be great! 128 00:04:46,784 --> 00:04:48,786 - Okay. - That's really good. 129 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,856 (laughing) 130 00:04:51,923 --> 00:04:54,492 You know what you're doing? - No. You? 131 00:04:54,559 --> 00:04:56,160 - Not a damn clue. 132 00:05:02,934 --> 00:05:04,269 - Do you know what this is? 133 00:05:04,335 --> 00:05:06,671 - Your second alcoholic drink in 10 minutes? 134 00:05:06,738 --> 00:05:09,073 - It's a Shapiro LaFayette Cabernet. 135 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:11,142 Retails for $2,300 a bottle. 136 00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:12,644 - Hmm. 137 00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:17,982 - It's gorgeous. It's got this deep ruby-plum colour. 138 00:05:18,049 --> 00:05:20,218 It's full of smoke and herbs. 139 00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:23,221 Just the smallest hint of pen ink. 140 00:05:23,288 --> 00:05:27,025 And you know how it comes by these exquisite attributes? 141 00:05:27,091 --> 00:05:28,059 - The wine maker's feet? 142 00:05:28,126 --> 00:05:29,560 - Time. (whispering): Time. 143 00:05:29,627 --> 00:05:30,962 - It's bottled in 1970 144 00:05:31,029 --> 00:05:32,430 and the longer it ages, 145 00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:35,133 the stronger its flavours grow... 146 00:05:35,199 --> 00:05:37,669 ...the deeper its colours turn. 147 00:05:37,735 --> 00:05:39,671 Becomes more complex. 148 00:05:39,737 --> 00:05:42,674 - That was beautiful, Monica. 149 00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:44,943 And it would make an amazing copy. 150 00:05:45,009 --> 00:05:46,711 (laptop dings) Oh! 151 00:05:48,846 --> 00:05:49,814 (exhaling) 152 00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:51,516 Yeah! We're trending. 153 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,922 - Monica Marks deserves to be in jail for this ad! 154 00:05:57,989 --> 00:06:00,191 - Monica Marks is everything that is wrong with this country. 155 00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:02,627 She is the reason people hate America. 156 00:06:02,694 --> 00:06:05,563 - Monica Marks lives at 949 Hubert Street. 157 00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:06,597 (gasping) 158 00:06:06,664 --> 00:06:07,665 - Oh! They have my address? 159 00:06:07,732 --> 00:06:08,833 That's crazy. 160 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,001 And why do you get off scot-free? 161 00:06:10,068 --> 00:06:11,469 - And also, Doug Garcia 162 00:06:11,536 --> 00:06:13,237 looks like the very hungry caterpillar, 163 00:06:13,304 --> 00:06:17,008 if the very hungry caterpillar had the face of Kim Jong Un. 164 00:06:17,075 --> 00:06:18,376 - I'm not even Korean! 165 00:06:18,443 --> 00:06:21,179 - Enough. It's one thing for them to disparage our ad. 166 00:06:21,245 --> 00:06:24,248 It's another thing to defame us personally. 167 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:25,516 - What are you doing? 168 00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:26,985 - First, I'm going to take a shower. 169 00:06:27,051 --> 00:06:27,852 I do not smell good. 170 00:06:27,919 --> 00:06:29,554 Then, I'm gonna find a way 171 00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:30,188 to fight back. 172 00:06:30,254 --> 00:06:31,289 They can't cancel us! 173 00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:33,057 I'm gonna restore our good names 174 00:06:33,124 --> 00:06:35,326 and bring us back to the top. 175 00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:37,528 - That's the Monica Marks I know! 176 00:06:37,595 --> 00:06:38,629 (Christmas jingle) 177 00:06:38,696 --> 00:06:40,631 Sorry, just have to take this. 178 00:06:40,698 --> 00:06:43,835 Hi, this is Doug. How can I make your dreams come true? 179 00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:45,670 - Who's that? - I had to take a job 180 00:06:45,737 --> 00:06:46,938 as an online concierge. 181 00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:48,906 Just... until we get our jobs back. 182 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:51,275 Absolutely, we can get some chimpanzees. 183 00:06:51,342 --> 00:06:53,611 Now, I must warn you, they will rip off your face. 184 00:06:53,678 --> 00:06:56,247 Now, how much do you like the people going to your party? 185 00:06:56,314 --> 00:06:57,949 Your in-laws, okay, I get it. 186 00:06:58,016 --> 00:07:00,118 (rhythmic music) 187 00:07:02,186 --> 00:07:04,155 (pen scratching on paper) 188 00:07:04,222 --> 00:07:05,923 - Hey, Annabelle. I started highlighting 189 00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,693 the important stuff, and now... ...everything is highlighted. 190 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,628 - You have an urgent phone call from Fiber Move. 191 00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:12,964 They're really angry about your auto-reply email. 192 00:07:13,031 --> 00:07:14,932 - What, why? 193 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,301 - "Hi, this is Kriska, the new CEO. 194 00:07:17,368 --> 00:07:21,005 Per my therapist, I will be taking some time to... 195 00:07:21,072 --> 00:07:22,573 ...calibrate to my new position 196 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,142 and will not be responding to emails 197 00:07:24,208 --> 00:07:26,944 for the next two to three weeks. 198 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,346 Peace and kiss emoji." 199 00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:29,213 - Yeah. 200 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,415 - You're ignoring clients that pay 201 00:07:30,481 --> 00:07:32,550 this agency millions of dollars. 202 00:07:32,617 --> 00:07:34,485 - That was for my mental health, okay? 203 00:07:34,552 --> 00:07:36,554 And I refuse to apologize for that. 204 00:07:36,621 --> 00:07:39,357 - They're threatening to call Oliver. 205 00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:42,026 - Again, I apologize profusely 206 00:07:42,093 --> 00:07:43,528 and I'm so excited to find out 207 00:07:43,594 --> 00:07:46,330 that colorectal cancer awareness month is just around the corner. 208 00:07:46,397 --> 00:07:49,033 We'll start working on a social media angle A.S.A.P. 209 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,468 (mobile phone beeps) 210 00:07:50,535 --> 00:07:52,070 Find out what Fiber Moves is. 211 00:07:52,136 --> 00:07:55,073 (phone beeps) 212 00:07:55,139 --> 00:07:58,109 (rhythmic music) 213 00:07:58,176 --> 00:08:00,311 - I'm so delighted that you called me. 214 00:08:00,378 --> 00:08:01,679 What can I do for you? 215 00:08:01,746 --> 00:08:03,081 - Well, Trish, 216 00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:06,150 you're the best publicist in New York city, 217 00:08:06,217 --> 00:08:10,755 so tell me, how can I rehabilitate my image? 218 00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:12,390 (sighing): When it comes to being cancelled, 219 00:08:12,457 --> 00:08:15,159 I tell all my clients the same thing. 220 00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:16,561 Go to Confession. 221 00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:17,662 - Confession? 222 00:08:17,728 --> 00:08:20,198 - Forgive me world, for I have sinned. 223 00:08:20,264 --> 00:08:21,265 An apology. 224 00:08:21,332 --> 00:08:22,300 On camera, of course. 225 00:08:22,366 --> 00:08:23,768 God doesn't absolve you 226 00:08:23,835 --> 00:08:25,837 of your sins anymore. 227 00:08:25,903 --> 00:08:27,472 TikTok does. 228 00:08:27,538 --> 00:08:29,006 (rhythmic music) 229 00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:30,441 (sighing) 230 00:08:34,612 --> 00:08:37,448 - So, Bill, I know you're an account executive, 231 00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:40,551 but what's the tea on budgets? 232 00:08:40,618 --> 00:08:42,220 (office hubbub) - The... tea? 233 00:08:42,286 --> 00:08:43,855 As in... what are they? 234 00:08:43,921 --> 00:08:45,423 - Yes, Bill. - Okay, well. 235 00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:49,894 A budget is a predetermined limit on spending. 236 00:08:49,961 --> 00:08:51,896 Have you... never cut an expense 237 00:08:51,963 --> 00:08:53,631 because you just couldn't afford it? 238 00:08:53,698 --> 00:08:54,265 - No. 239 00:08:54,332 --> 00:08:56,000 - Okay. As an example, 240 00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:58,369 uh, when I discovered that Tanya 241 00:08:58,436 --> 00:09:00,872 had cleaned out all my bank accounts 242 00:09:00,938 --> 00:09:02,240 to go shack up with Gordo, 243 00:09:02,306 --> 00:09:03,541 who, by the way, 244 00:09:03,608 --> 00:09:06,043 sells pineapples out of the back of his pickup. 245 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:09,080 I had to limit my spending. 246 00:09:09,147 --> 00:09:11,115 So, I ate ramen... 247 00:09:11,182 --> 00:09:12,783 ...for three years. 248 00:09:12,850 --> 00:09:14,051 (gasping) 249 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,853 - Oh, that's dark, Bill, 250 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,189 and not in a good way. 251 00:09:18,256 --> 00:09:19,056 - This... 252 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,258 ...is the agency's budget. 253 00:09:20,324 --> 00:09:21,526 When you see red, 254 00:09:21,592 --> 00:09:23,928 that's a line item that's over budget. 255 00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:25,796 - Oh... Oh, my. 256 00:09:25,863 --> 00:09:27,565 This is egregious. 257 00:09:27,632 --> 00:09:30,568 Whoever's in charge of the discretionary department 258 00:09:30,635 --> 00:09:32,670 is in trouble. 259 00:09:32,737 --> 00:09:34,839 - Discretionary is not a department, 260 00:09:34,906 --> 00:09:36,440 and it's over budget 261 00:09:36,507 --> 00:09:39,076 because you and Clem redecorated the office 262 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,845 and threw a churro and llama party. 263 00:09:40,912 --> 00:09:44,415 The llama alone cost $10,000. 264 00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:46,117 Plus, medical expenses. 265 00:09:46,184 --> 00:09:49,220 - Mmm. So, if I'm hearing you correctly, 266 00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:51,122 we need to start eating ramen. 267 00:09:51,189 --> 00:09:52,757 - Well... - Okay, I got it. 268 00:09:52,823 --> 00:09:55,393 We'll sell the office furniture on Facebook Marketplace 269 00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:58,229 and advertise it as mid-century modern. Oh! 270 00:09:58,296 --> 00:10:00,932 The millennials are gonna come in droves. 271 00:10:00,998 --> 00:10:03,801 Yes. 272 00:10:03,868 --> 00:10:06,704 (rhythmic music) 273 00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:10,508 - I sincerely apologize for the ad's slogan, 274 00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:14,078 which I have come to realize was insensitive. 275 00:10:14,145 --> 00:10:15,880 While I meant no harm, 276 00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:19,016 I was wrong and moving forward, 277 00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:24,689 I intend to be more empathetic in my thoughts and actions. 278 00:10:24,755 --> 00:10:27,725 I am truly sorry. 279 00:10:27,792 --> 00:10:29,660 Thank you. 280 00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:30,995 - And... scene! 281 00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:32,563 Perfect and you look fabulous. 282 00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:34,899 (scoffing): I feel disgusting, dirty. 283 00:10:34,966 --> 00:10:36,167 What am I? A grown woman 284 00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:37,568 apologizing to children? 285 00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:38,936 (childish groans): "I'm so sorry, 286 00:10:39,003 --> 00:10:41,872 I did one thing wrong and now you're gonna cancel me?" 287 00:10:41,939 --> 00:10:44,208 Gen Z has ruined this country. 288 00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:47,078 I hate them, I hate them! I hate them! 289 00:10:47,144 --> 00:10:50,047 (huffing loudly) (Doug): Oh... 290 00:10:50,114 --> 00:10:52,516 Monica, remember when I had to push the 'Go Live' button 291 00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:53,718 in order to start the livestream? 292 00:10:53,784 --> 00:10:56,120 - Yeah. - Uh, well, funny thing. 293 00:10:56,187 --> 00:11:00,291 Uh, seems like my stubby baby carrot fingers actually missed the button 294 00:11:00,358 --> 00:11:03,227 and we weren't livestreaming your apology. 295 00:11:03,294 --> 00:11:05,796 We were livestreaming everything after that. 296 00:11:05,863 --> 00:11:07,665 Still don't know how to turn this thing off. 297 00:11:07,732 --> 00:11:09,533 Not responding to my touch. I don't know what to do. 298 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,601 - We're live right now? 299 00:11:10,668 --> 00:11:11,902 - Yes. - Doug, turn it off. 300 00:11:11,969 --> 00:11:12,870 Turn it off, turn it off! 301 00:11:12,937 --> 00:11:16,173 - I'm trying to figure it-- - Give it-- 302 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,208 (knocking on glass) 303 00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:18,976 (mouth full): I'm working. 304 00:11:19,043 --> 00:11:20,111 - I can see you. 305 00:11:20,177 --> 00:11:21,746 - Oh! 306 00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:23,314 Oh, my god. 307 00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:30,087 - Come in. - Okay. 308 00:11:30,154 --> 00:11:32,123 Hi, Clem, uh, 309 00:11:32,189 --> 00:11:33,357 I was told I should talk to you 310 00:11:33,424 --> 00:11:35,226 about a problem that I'm having? 311 00:11:35,293 --> 00:11:37,161 - Why? - Because it's your job. 312 00:11:37,228 --> 00:11:38,729 - Of course. - I... 313 00:11:38,796 --> 00:11:39,530 ...help... 314 00:11:39,597 --> 00:11:43,834 ...you...you...you... 315 00:11:43,901 --> 00:11:44,702 - What are you doing? 316 00:11:44,769 --> 00:11:46,804 - I forgot that only works on Zoom. 317 00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:48,839 (chuckling): Annabelle, take a seat. 318 00:11:48,906 --> 00:11:52,009 - Okay, um. 319 00:11:52,076 --> 00:11:53,711 Oh. 320 00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:56,480 Uh.... I, um... 321 00:11:56,547 --> 00:11:59,617 I have to make a lot of copies for Matt. 322 00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:02,486 - That sucks. Working with him is the worst. 323 00:12:02,553 --> 00:12:04,121 - That is not the problem. 324 00:12:04,188 --> 00:12:05,189 - Okay. 325 00:12:05,256 --> 00:12:06,691 - Um, he's asking me to make a lot 326 00:12:06,757 --> 00:12:08,793 of personal copies for him. 327 00:12:08,859 --> 00:12:10,361 The other day a client almost ended up 328 00:12:10,428 --> 00:12:11,729 with a Dungeons and Dragons sheet. 329 00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:13,631 Apparently, Matt's character is a lizard person 330 00:12:13,698 --> 00:12:15,366 who spits his teeth like bullets. 331 00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:17,234 I just want it to stop. 332 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:19,270 - I bet. Well, thanks for sharing. 333 00:12:19,337 --> 00:12:21,672 - No, no. I need you to mediate this. 334 00:12:21,739 --> 00:12:23,974 - Oh. Okay. 335 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:26,410 Then, yeah, sure. I can do this. 336 00:12:26,477 --> 00:12:27,478 You're both in departments 337 00:12:27,545 --> 00:12:32,783 and I'm in charge of departments. 338 00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:33,718 So... 339 00:12:33,784 --> 00:12:35,486 Okay. 340 00:12:35,553 --> 00:12:37,088 My mom says you two should hug it out. 341 00:12:37,154 --> 00:12:39,824 Annabelle, do you consent to a hug from Minnesota Matt? 342 00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:40,558 - Absolutely not. 343 00:12:40,624 --> 00:12:42,326 - Okay. That's your choice. 344 00:12:42,393 --> 00:12:43,627 My job here is done. 345 00:12:43,694 --> 00:12:45,196 I'm gonna give you two the space 346 00:12:45,262 --> 00:12:47,098 and you can leave whenever you feel ready. 347 00:12:47,164 --> 00:12:48,399 Alright? 348 00:12:51,369 --> 00:12:53,804 (door opens and closes) 349 00:12:57,908 --> 00:13:01,512 (chair scrapping) 350 00:13:05,716 --> 00:13:07,551 (huffing): Whatever, I'll just make your stupid copies. 351 00:13:07,618 --> 00:13:10,321 - Great! Great, I'm gonna send you a JPEG. 352 00:13:10,388 --> 00:13:11,822 It's a photo of me in a wizard outfit. 353 00:13:11,889 --> 00:13:15,159 It was made for a woman, but I sewed up the thigh slip. 354 00:13:15,226 --> 00:13:16,360 (chuckling) 355 00:13:16,427 --> 00:13:17,528 I need 30 coloured copies. 356 00:13:17,595 --> 00:13:20,564 (rhythmic music) 357 00:13:20,631 --> 00:13:22,666 - Gen Z has ruined this country. 358 00:13:22,733 --> 00:13:24,335 Ruined! I hate them so much, 359 00:13:24,402 --> 00:13:25,336 I hate them! 360 00:13:25,403 --> 00:13:27,071 (scoffing) 361 00:13:27,138 --> 00:13:28,806 - Monica. - Mm-hmm? 362 00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:32,476 - I'm gonna tell you what I told Paula Deen in 2013. 363 00:13:32,543 --> 00:13:34,211 You're cooked. 364 00:13:34,278 --> 00:13:35,479 (whispering): Take care. 365 00:13:35,546 --> 00:13:36,814 - Wait, hold on! What? 366 00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:39,850 There must be something we can do? 367 00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:41,786 - Well, we could try the drug addict approach. 368 00:13:41,852 --> 00:13:44,422 - Oh, yes! Let's do that! How do we do that? 369 00:13:44,488 --> 00:13:46,323 - We alter the public's perception 370 00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:47,525 by getting you into therapy, 371 00:13:47,591 --> 00:13:50,127 acknowledging that you have a problem and... 372 00:13:50,194 --> 00:13:51,262 ...a desire to change. 373 00:13:51,328 --> 00:13:52,663 - I mean, the word problem 374 00:13:52,730 --> 00:13:55,132 feels a little strong, but okay. 375 00:13:55,199 --> 00:13:56,367 (rhythmic music) 376 00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:57,802 - Okay. 377 00:13:57,868 --> 00:14:00,471 - Monica's binder. I couldn't even finish... 378 00:14:00,538 --> 00:14:01,906 ...I ran out of highlighters! 379 00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:03,741 - Dude, I thought this day would never end. 380 00:14:03,808 --> 00:14:06,043 - It hasn't. It's only... 2:30. 381 00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:08,245 - Girl, this must be one of those parts of the world 382 00:14:08,312 --> 00:14:09,513 where time doesn't exist. 383 00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,015 Like the Barbados Triangle? 384 00:14:11,081 --> 00:14:12,383 - Huh, and the DMV. 385 00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:13,751 - Just came in to make sure you're ready 386 00:14:13,818 --> 00:14:15,186 for the Magma pitch, tomorrow. 387 00:14:15,252 --> 00:14:16,153 - What Magma pitch? 388 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,188 - It's in the daily binder. 389 00:14:17,254 --> 00:14:18,456 - What, no! 390 00:14:18,522 --> 00:14:20,224 But I'm, I'm already working on Boppin' Burger 391 00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:21,892 and I'm servicing existing accounts. 392 00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:24,428 FYI, Fiber Move wants to put a giant colon 393 00:14:24,495 --> 00:14:26,363 in downtown Chicago as a marketing stunt. 394 00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,698 Can someone please explain to me 395 00:14:27,765 --> 00:14:28,799 how I'm supposed to prepare a pitch 396 00:14:28,866 --> 00:14:30,367 for an erectile dysfunction drug? 397 00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:31,335 On top of all of this? 398 00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:33,070 - I can do it! 399 00:14:33,137 --> 00:14:35,906 I can do it. I can service existing accounts. 400 00:14:35,973 --> 00:14:37,374 Please, Kriska, let me service the existing accounts. 401 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:38,876 - I live to service. - Okay, okay. 402 00:14:38,943 --> 00:14:40,211 They're yours, Minnesota Matt. 403 00:14:40,277 --> 00:14:41,812 They're yours. 404 00:14:41,879 --> 00:14:42,446 (scoffing) 405 00:14:42,513 --> 00:14:44,081 - You won't regret this. 406 00:14:44,148 --> 00:14:45,216 - You will regret this. 407 00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:46,817 One time, he met with a client, 408 00:14:46,884 --> 00:14:48,085 he tried to do a backflip. 409 00:14:48,152 --> 00:14:49,053 He hurt himself so bad, 410 00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:51,188 he had to pee sitting down for a year. 411 00:14:51,255 --> 00:14:52,189 - How do you know that? 412 00:14:52,256 --> 00:14:53,824 - Okay, but I have to delegate. 413 00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:55,025 Now, what do we do about this pitch? 414 00:14:55,092 --> 00:14:56,327 - Monica and Doug have been working 415 00:14:56,393 --> 00:14:58,429 on the deck for weeks. 416 00:14:58,496 --> 00:15:00,865 I have a copy in my desk. 417 00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:03,701 (rhythmic music) 418 00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,971 And... they took it. 419 00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:08,005 - I can call Monica. 420 00:15:08,072 --> 00:15:09,507 Right, right. No. 421 00:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,608 Uh, forget I said that. 422 00:15:10,674 --> 00:15:12,343 What about... what about Doug? 423 00:15:12,409 --> 00:15:13,310 Elliot, could you talk to him? 424 00:15:13,377 --> 00:15:16,213 - Oh, why? Because I'm gay? 425 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,215 (scoffing) 426 00:15:18,282 --> 00:15:19,350 Yeah, I can talk to him. 427 00:15:19,416 --> 00:15:20,985 - Great. And in case that doesn't work, 428 00:15:21,051 --> 00:15:22,686 I will focus on researching Magma, 429 00:15:22,753 --> 00:15:23,787 and Clem, you do a focus group. 430 00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:26,056 - Mm-hmm. Yes, yeah. Remind me? 431 00:15:26,123 --> 00:15:27,691 - You know, you'll get Magma consumers' thoughts 432 00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:28,659 on erectile dysfunction. 433 00:15:28,726 --> 00:15:29,627 - They're probably thinking: 434 00:15:29,693 --> 00:15:31,262 "Why won't my dick work?" 435 00:15:31,328 --> 00:15:33,130 (chuckling) 436 00:15:33,197 --> 00:15:34,932 (blowing raspberries) 437 00:15:34,999 --> 00:15:37,034 - That's... 438 00:15:37,101 --> 00:15:39,270 - Mm-hmm. (sighing) 439 00:15:39,336 --> 00:15:40,271 Perfect. 440 00:15:40,337 --> 00:15:42,606 (pill bottle rattles) 441 00:15:45,976 --> 00:15:48,312 - Would you like this little cottage? 442 00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,447 You can paint the shutters a different colour... 443 00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,283 you can get another gazebo! 444 00:15:52,349 --> 00:15:55,586 And, no, we don't have to invite the gingerbread men. 445 00:15:55,653 --> 00:15:57,454 You and Ms. Tiny Claus got into another fight-- 446 00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,056 - Hey, you. 447 00:15:59,123 --> 00:16:02,426 - Elliot! How did you find me here? 448 00:16:02,493 --> 00:16:06,397 - Oh, this is far too much Christmas. 449 00:16:06,463 --> 00:16:08,032 Uh... Grindr. 450 00:16:08,098 --> 00:16:09,900 I set the filters to 40 to 50 years old 451 00:16:09,967 --> 00:16:12,937 and twink and you were the only one that popped up. 452 00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:16,206 - Grindr? Oh, somebody must have hacked me, I... 453 00:16:16,273 --> 00:16:17,207 - Mm-hmm. 454 00:16:17,274 --> 00:16:19,510 Any chance you can do me a little favour? 455 00:16:19,577 --> 00:16:21,045 We have this Magma pitch coming up 456 00:16:21,111 --> 00:16:22,713 and I was wondering if you'd be 457 00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:24,548 ...so kind to let me borrow the deck 458 00:16:24,615 --> 00:16:26,116 that you and Monica were working on? 459 00:16:26,183 --> 00:16:29,153 (sighing): I'd love to help, Elliot. I really would. 460 00:16:29,219 --> 00:16:30,821 I remember what it was like to be young 461 00:16:30,888 --> 00:16:32,289 and trying to make my mark in this city. 462 00:16:32,356 --> 00:16:34,024 But I have to be loyal to Monica. I'm sorry. 463 00:16:34,091 --> 00:16:36,293 - I'm just looking out for my girl too. 464 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,661 - Yeah. 465 00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:40,698 - Hey, I know you didn't put Grindr on your phone, 466 00:16:40,764 --> 00:16:41,865 but if you did... 467 00:16:41,932 --> 00:16:44,602 I would tell you to give me your phone. 468 00:16:44,668 --> 00:16:45,869 Mm-hmm. 469 00:16:45,936 --> 00:16:49,106 And I would download the latest new app, 470 00:16:49,173 --> 00:16:49,840 Man Buffet. 471 00:16:49,907 --> 00:16:51,842 It's all you can eat, girl. 472 00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:53,844 And I'd write you a killer profile. 473 00:16:53,911 --> 00:16:55,212 - Would you? - Yeah. 474 00:16:55,279 --> 00:16:58,048 - Maybe don't say that I do community theatre. 475 00:16:58,115 --> 00:17:00,150 It really hasn't gotten the traction it deserves. 476 00:17:00,217 --> 00:17:01,318 - Okay. 477 00:17:01,385 --> 00:17:04,388 (rhythmic music) 478 00:17:04,455 --> 00:17:07,057 - "You're Not the Only One." 479 00:17:07,124 --> 00:17:09,059 (chuckling nervously): Sir, I'm really excited 480 00:17:09,126 --> 00:17:11,061 to be taking the helm on ReliefH cream. 481 00:17:11,128 --> 00:17:11,996 And, don't worry. 482 00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,731 I'll try not to be a pain in the ass. 483 00:17:13,797 --> 00:17:14,898 (chuckling) 484 00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:16,834 - Well, it seems like you are going 485 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:18,769 to be a real hemorrhoid. 486 00:17:18,836 --> 00:17:20,037 - Central to your business 487 00:17:20,104 --> 00:17:22,840 and essential to its continued success. 488 00:17:22,906 --> 00:17:26,977 Sir, I intend to be the biggest hemorrhoid you've ever had. 489 00:17:27,044 --> 00:17:28,212 - Okay. 490 00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:30,581 (rhythmic music) 491 00:17:30,648 --> 00:17:32,950 - Trish told me you created an ad 492 00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:35,386 that caused quite a bit of backlash. 493 00:17:35,452 --> 00:17:37,788 Followed that with a livestream 494 00:17:37,855 --> 00:17:40,090 about how much you hate an entire generation. 495 00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:42,326 - It's an overly simplified version, but sure. 496 00:17:42,393 --> 00:17:45,329 - I assume you're here to discuss the underlying cause 497 00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,898 of your lack of empathy and understanding, 498 00:17:47,965 --> 00:17:50,200 and make some changes to remedy that. 499 00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:53,504 - Do you know the story of Marlboro cigarettes? 500 00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:55,406 - I can't say that I do. 501 00:17:55,472 --> 00:17:58,876 - Well, Marlboro started out as a woman's cigarette. 502 00:17:58,942 --> 00:18:01,979 And then scientists figured out cigarettes cause cancer, 503 00:18:02,046 --> 00:18:05,149 so Marlboro started saying their filters 504 00:18:05,215 --> 00:18:09,553 help keep out those nasty toxic carcinogens. 505 00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:12,356 And sales went up, but not with men. 506 00:18:12,423 --> 00:18:16,460 So they have a... a girly cigarette and an image problem. 507 00:18:16,527 --> 00:18:18,228 What to do? 508 00:18:18,295 --> 00:18:19,563 Ta-da! 509 00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:21,265 The Marlboro man. 510 00:18:21,331 --> 00:18:24,435 And like magic, a decent-selling girly cigarette 511 00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:29,940 became the best-selling manly man cigarette in the world. 512 00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:33,277 And they did that all without changing a single thing. 513 00:18:33,343 --> 00:18:36,080 - So, if I'm understanding you correctly, 514 00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:38,816 you want to remain toxic and cancerous 515 00:18:38,882 --> 00:18:41,618 while tricking people into believing you're not? 516 00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,353 - Look, all I need from you 517 00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:46,356 is a statement telling the public that I'm healed. 518 00:18:46,423 --> 00:18:47,591 - Okay. Get out. 519 00:18:47,658 --> 00:18:49,993 (rhythmic music) 520 00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:51,695 - Now, as a former ChapStick lesbian 521 00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:53,297 turned soft butch, hard top, 522 00:18:53,363 --> 00:18:55,466 I've never experienced erectile dysfunction 523 00:18:55,532 --> 00:18:58,001 because I use a strap-on. 524 00:18:58,068 --> 00:19:00,637 - You lost me somewhere between now and strap-on, but okay. 525 00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:03,273 - So, who cannot get it up? 526 00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,942 (throat clearing) 527 00:19:05,008 --> 00:19:07,644 I hope it goes without saying, this is a safe space, okay? 528 00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,847 Nothing leaves this office. 529 00:19:09,913 --> 00:19:11,882 Johnathan? Can you get it up? 530 00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:16,453 You got a sad little... schlong there? 531 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,224 Barry? Does your peepee work? 532 00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:21,992 - Sorry, Clem. 533 00:19:22,059 --> 00:19:23,594 Looks like nobody's comfortable talking 534 00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:24,895 about their penises not working. 535 00:19:24,962 --> 00:19:26,063 I'd contribute myself, 536 00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:29,633 but I'm fully erect at this very moment. 537 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,169 - Okay, Bill. 538 00:19:32,236 --> 00:19:35,272 Hey, the focus group went great! 539 00:19:35,339 --> 00:19:36,306 I can confidently report 540 00:19:36,373 --> 00:19:39,843 that Bill's khakis do not hide his erection. 541 00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,245 And the older men are incredibly anxious 542 00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:43,046 about discussing erectile dysfunction. 543 00:19:43,113 --> 00:19:44,414 - And you know what? Fun fact, 544 00:19:44,481 --> 00:19:45,582 I found out that Magma was 545 00:19:45,649 --> 00:19:46,984 originally used to treat angina. 546 00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:49,486 So, heart-wiener link, maybe? Something there? 547 00:19:49,553 --> 00:19:50,687 - Hey, hey, hey! 548 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,089 - Hi! - I got the deck. 549 00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:53,490 - Ugh, thank God. - I know. 550 00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:54,725 I just emailed it to you. 551 00:19:54,792 --> 00:19:55,893 I downloaded it from Doug's phone 552 00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:57,694 while installing Man Buffet. 553 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,863 I felt bad tricking him, 554 00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:01,098 but as a consolation, 555 00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:03,000 I wrote him an exquisite profile. 556 00:20:03,066 --> 00:20:06,603 He was betrayed, but he will give aid. 557 00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:09,339 - Mm-hmm. 558 00:20:09,406 --> 00:20:10,607 What's the problem? 559 00:20:10,674 --> 00:20:12,709 - The stack is good. It's really good. 560 00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,812 - Mm-hmm. - But, it's Monica and Doug's. 561 00:20:14,878 --> 00:20:17,247 - After all this. Now, you have a moral dilemma? 562 00:20:17,314 --> 00:20:19,750 - I mean, isn't it, like, technically stealing? 563 00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:21,051 - No, no, no. 564 00:20:21,118 --> 00:20:23,387 Monica and Doug created it while they were here. 565 00:20:23,453 --> 00:20:26,223 So, technically, it's the company's property. 566 00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:27,357 (sighing): I don't know, you guys... 567 00:20:27,424 --> 00:20:29,059 - We also put our own research into it. 568 00:20:29,126 --> 00:20:30,828 Think of it as a remix. 569 00:20:30,894 --> 00:20:33,163 - Yeah. Yeah, okay. 570 00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,032 And you know what? We'll come up with our own slogan, 571 00:20:35,098 --> 00:20:37,034 which is like the most important part of the pitch anyways. 572 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:37,935 - Mm-hmm. - 100 %. 573 00:20:38,001 --> 00:20:39,937 - So, what is our slogan? 574 00:20:40,003 --> 00:20:41,438 Keep in mind, we have to appeal to older guys. 575 00:20:41,505 --> 00:20:43,507 - Well, it's not just older men that use Magma. 576 00:20:43,574 --> 00:20:44,842 I mean, my friends use it 577 00:20:44,908 --> 00:20:46,443 and they feel awkward talking about it. 578 00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:48,712 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 579 00:20:48,779 --> 00:20:50,781 - It's, it's coming... 580 00:20:50,848 --> 00:20:53,417 - Ooh... (rhythmic music) 581 00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:56,620 - It's coming... 582 00:20:56,687 --> 00:21:00,324 - Come on. (gasp): It came! 583 00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:01,425 (whispering): Yes. 584 00:21:04,161 --> 00:21:08,599 (singing): I feel as empty as a drum. 585 00:21:08,665 --> 00:21:12,002 Don't know why I didn't come. 586 00:21:12,069 --> 00:21:16,673 (still singing): I don't know why I didn't come. 587 00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:18,842 (out of tune vocalizing) 588 00:21:18,909 --> 00:21:25,182 I... don't know why I didn't come... 589 00:21:25,249 --> 00:21:26,750 - You can't solve the problem 590 00:21:26,817 --> 00:21:30,454 if you don't have the hard discussion. 591 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,390 - And that's our pitch. 592 00:21:33,457 --> 00:21:34,691 - Well... 593 00:21:34,758 --> 00:21:36,360 Definitely different from what... 594 00:21:36,426 --> 00:21:38,929 Monica and Doug would have done. 595 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:46,303 But I liked it! A lot. (sighing) 596 00:21:46,370 --> 00:21:48,005 Loved acknowledging that it's difficult 597 00:21:48,071 --> 00:21:52,676 for both older and younger men to talk about ED. 598 00:21:52,743 --> 00:21:54,645 Looks like we have a new campaign. 599 00:21:54,711 --> 00:21:56,313 (squealing) 600 00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:58,282 (rhythmic music) 601 00:22:01,418 --> 00:22:03,453 - Well, therapy didn't work. What's next? 602 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,189 - Well, the only real way back is time. 603 00:22:06,256 --> 00:22:08,625 You know, wait it out, move to the Midwest. 604 00:22:08,692 --> 00:22:11,461 Come back with a podcast when everyone's memory has faded. 605 00:22:11,528 --> 00:22:13,230 - No. I am a New Yorker. 606 00:22:13,297 --> 00:22:14,932 I dine at Jean-Georges, 607 00:22:14,998 --> 00:22:16,333 I have a membership at the MET. 608 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,835 I have seen Anna Wintour with her sunglasses off. 609 00:22:18,902 --> 00:22:21,104 I can't move to the Midwest! 610 00:22:21,171 --> 00:22:24,174 I'll end up with short hair, eating cheese curds. 611 00:22:24,241 --> 00:22:26,910 People will start calling me a handsome woman. No. 612 00:22:26,977 --> 00:22:29,613 - Well, if you have to stay in the city, just lay low for now. 613 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,014 - Well, I can't do that. 614 00:22:31,081 --> 00:22:34,952 I have a very high-profile networking event tonight. 615 00:22:35,018 --> 00:22:36,987 (♪ HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan) 616 00:22:37,054 --> 00:22:39,323 (indistinct chatter) 617 00:22:57,274 --> 00:22:58,408 - Hi. 618 00:23:01,011 --> 00:23:02,412 (chuckling nervously) 619 00:23:04,281 --> 00:23:07,017 Bob, thanks for the call. Not. 620 00:23:07,084 --> 00:23:08,385 - People are staring... 621 00:23:08,452 --> 00:23:09,453 - Let them. 622 00:23:12,089 --> 00:23:14,958 - God, look at his hair. It's Bennet Buffy. 623 00:23:15,025 --> 00:23:16,960 - Oh, is it cold in here or just me? 624 00:23:17,027 --> 00:23:18,161 (wheezing) 625 00:23:20,364 --> 00:23:20,931 - Monica. 626 00:23:20,998 --> 00:23:22,265 - Gabe, Marcie. 627 00:23:22,332 --> 00:23:24,301 - Congratulations. - Wonderful party. 628 00:23:24,368 --> 00:23:26,636 This is my second favourite Jewish tradition, 629 00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:29,106 second only to Yom Kippur. 630 00:23:29,172 --> 00:23:30,574 - Yeah... I'm surprised to see you. 631 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,243 I tried to get the post office to rescind your invitation. 632 00:23:33,310 --> 00:23:36,680 (laughing): And I'm thrilled to be here, in New York City. 633 00:23:36,747 --> 00:23:40,250 and not in some godforsaken town in the Midwest. 634 00:23:43,020 --> 00:23:45,789 - Well, if... you'll excuse me. 635 00:23:45,856 --> 00:23:47,424 - Right. - Sure. 636 00:23:47,491 --> 00:23:50,827 (chuckling awkwardly) - Lovely yamaka. 637 00:23:50,894 --> 00:23:52,496 - I don't think you can say that. 638 00:23:52,562 --> 00:23:53,864 - No? 639 00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:57,334 - Marcie and I just wanted to say a quick thank you 640 00:23:57,401 --> 00:23:58,769 to everyone for coming. 641 00:23:58,835 --> 00:24:01,805 Veronica would like to come up and say a few words. 642 00:24:01,872 --> 00:24:04,641 (crowd cheering and clapping) 643 00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:07,344 - I already said everything important in Hebrew, 644 00:24:07,411 --> 00:24:10,147 but thanks to my parents for paying for all of this. 645 00:24:10,213 --> 00:24:12,349 You guys! I'm a woman! 646 00:24:12,416 --> 00:24:15,452 (crowd clapping) - Yay... 647 00:24:15,519 --> 00:24:18,255 - Isn't she great, oh, wow. - Monica! 648 00:24:18,321 --> 00:24:20,657 - Look at you, all grown up and... 649 00:24:20,724 --> 00:24:22,993 Jewish and... pink. 650 00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:25,095 (chuckling) Oh! 651 00:24:25,162 --> 00:24:27,864 I'm excited for you becoming a woman, but... 652 00:24:27,931 --> 00:24:29,733 (microphone feedback) 653 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,068 I'm also worried. 654 00:24:31,134 --> 00:24:36,773 Because being a woman can be awful. 655 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,241 Recently, as most of you know, 656 00:24:38,308 --> 00:24:40,410 I was cancelled for being out of touch. 657 00:24:40,477 --> 00:24:45,348 But I can't help but feel if a man made the same commercial, 658 00:24:45,415 --> 00:24:48,351 he wouldn't have been made into a sacrificial lamb. 659 00:24:48,418 --> 00:24:50,654 Why are women always the lambs? 660 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,656 - Monica, that's enough. - Yeah, I agree, it's enough. 661 00:24:52,722 --> 00:24:55,692 I have been angry, I have been depressed. 662 00:24:55,759 --> 00:24:57,461 I have gone through all of the cycles of grief 663 00:24:57,527 --> 00:24:59,863 and I don't know now, I just am like, 664 00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:01,998 bleh, like dead inside. 665 00:25:02,065 --> 00:25:03,467 But Veronica, 666 00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:07,938 I hope for you that by the time you're my age... 667 00:25:08,004 --> 00:25:09,873 ...things are different. 668 00:25:09,940 --> 00:25:13,477 But they probably won't be. 669 00:25:13,543 --> 00:25:16,613 So... enjoy being 12 while you can. 670 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,050 I'll see you guys all in Hell, right? 671 00:25:20,117 --> 00:25:21,618 Mazel tov! 672 00:25:21,685 --> 00:25:22,719 Whoo! 673 00:25:22,786 --> 00:25:24,554 (applauding) 674 00:25:24,621 --> 00:25:25,789 Congratulations. 675 00:25:25,856 --> 00:25:28,592 (rhythmic music) 676 00:25:28,658 --> 00:25:30,560 (Doug): Oh, my god, he's on his way over. 677 00:25:30,627 --> 00:25:32,996 Don't talk to him, Monica, don't. 678 00:25:33,063 --> 00:25:35,098 - Hello there. 679 00:25:35,165 --> 00:25:37,667 - Buffy! Such a surprise to see you here. 680 00:25:37,734 --> 00:25:39,903 This being an event of religious significance 681 00:25:39,970 --> 00:25:41,037 and you being the devil. 682 00:25:41,104 --> 00:25:42,239 - Well, you know me, I'm just here 683 00:25:42,305 --> 00:25:43,140 for the free drinks. 684 00:25:43,206 --> 00:25:44,040 Although, I might take home 685 00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:45,308 that female mime. 686 00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:46,843 You know, I like a girl who's not too chatty. 687 00:25:46,910 --> 00:25:50,447 Speaking of which, pretty rough, eh, with you? 688 00:25:50,514 --> 00:25:52,115 - I really don't have the energy for this. 689 00:25:52,182 --> 00:25:53,416 Go... poke somebody else. 690 00:25:53,483 --> 00:25:55,352 - I'm not poking. I'm not a poker. 691 00:25:55,418 --> 00:25:57,154 Bit of a stroker, but I'm not gonna poke you. 692 00:25:57,220 --> 00:25:58,121 Unless you want to. 693 00:25:58,188 --> 00:25:59,689 (grunting): Don't make me sick, 694 00:25:59,756 --> 00:26:00,757 we're about to eat. 695 00:26:00,824 --> 00:26:02,626 - Yes, Taco Bell has a new chalupa menu 696 00:26:02,692 --> 00:26:06,096 that we're eager to try so we should probably get going. 697 00:26:06,163 --> 00:26:07,797 - Alright, well, I'm outta jokes, but, hey. 698 00:26:07,864 --> 00:26:10,033 On a serious note, I do think it's really crappy 699 00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:11,001 what they're doing to you. 700 00:26:11,067 --> 00:26:12,302 I know you'll find your way back 701 00:26:12,369 --> 00:26:13,136 into the game. 702 00:26:13,203 --> 00:26:14,171 Let's have dinner, 703 00:26:14,237 --> 00:26:16,573 talk about your next step, okay? 704 00:26:22,145 --> 00:26:23,947 - Okay, you are not seriously thinking 705 00:26:24,014 --> 00:26:25,549 about having dinner with that man. 706 00:26:25,615 --> 00:26:28,752 - He's a troll, a toad, a cesspool of a human being. 707 00:26:28,818 --> 00:26:32,222 He has a modicum of talent, but I have much more. 708 00:26:32,289 --> 00:26:34,291 The only thing he has that I don't have is-- 709 00:26:34,357 --> 00:26:36,526 - A penis. - His own agency. 710 00:26:36,593 --> 00:26:38,895 - That too. 711 00:26:38,962 --> 00:26:43,633 - I've been stepping over less competent men my whole career. 712 00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:44,768 I can do it again. 713 00:26:44,834 --> 00:26:45,769 (chuckling) 714 00:26:45,835 --> 00:26:48,538 - What is this look? I know this look. 715 00:26:48,605 --> 00:26:50,307 - Doug. 716 00:26:50,373 --> 00:26:52,309 We're starting our own agency. 717 00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:54,477 (rhythmic music) - Okay. 718 00:26:54,544 --> 00:26:56,146 Oh, oh. 719 00:26:56,213 --> 00:26:59,182 Oh, right now? Okay. Excuse me, thank you. 720 00:26:59,249 --> 00:27:02,919 Subtitling: Difuze